If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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