when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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