I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
