Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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