These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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