It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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