If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is it because I queefed?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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