DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
