shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
