I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
