nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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