I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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