One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
