You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
