i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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