Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
