He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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