Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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