i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
