with your own penis?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
