I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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