Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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