morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
