She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
