So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
