I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
