Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh god the rape fog is back!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
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