it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
