I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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