DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
