I think I am morally bankrupt
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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