you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
