Me. At least after what I've been through.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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