Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
