Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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