I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize