hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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