It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
