we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
