actually, I'm a sock model
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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