I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize