remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
