So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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