I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
