Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
