Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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