how can u be prego again
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
