he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
