U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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