She went from zero to smokin in five shots
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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