At least make sure they are 18
Why
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
