she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
