Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
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And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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