And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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