Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She's JV to your varsity
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
