just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize