Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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