Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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