dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
