In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize