This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
