you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
