Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
