I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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