Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
