hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize