found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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